Tuesday, March 31, 2009

American Idol Recap Rundown top 9

Yes, I watch American Idol. I do. I've been hurt many, many times from it. It's caused many, many wars in my family. My elder brother and I haven't spoken since the Taylor Hicks debacle.

Yet, I am still a fan. I don't know why. I wish I could stop. There should be a support group.

Until I overcome this addiction...I thought I might give a weekly rundown. We're down to the top 9, so I'm a little behind the game...but, so what?

Tonight's show featured any popular download on itunes! Holla! This left the contestants pretty much any avenue... to show us who they are as a contemporary artist...Here are my thoughts on tonight's show...in order of appearance, of course.

1. Anoop "Dawg" Desai.
I've never understood the draw behind Anoop. Tonight he sang Usher's 'Caught Up.' The only thing I was caught up in? His eyebrows. Even if I loved, loved, loved his voice and thought that he would put out an album I loved...I can't get past the eyebrows. It doesn't matter what he's singing, I feel like his eyebrows are doing all the talking. Also, I'm partially convinced that he's from a secret terrorist cell and is now going to get to the top two through other sleeper cell agent's votes and when the finale comes and Ryan is about to announce the winner of American Idol, season 8.... KABOOM. Bomb. Anoop was a suicide bomber. I wouldn't be buying tickets to the finale...I'm just saying.

2. Megan "I'm quirky and hot...is that enoough?" Joy.
Megan is my girl. I love her unique voice, I love her flava. But that girl is seriously tanking it! It's almost like she's not even trying anymore. I think she's in serious jeopardy. But, good news for Megan, she's smokin' hot! Even if this doesn't work out, I'm pretty sure she'll get by just fine with her looks. She sang a Bob Marley song. Yeah. I know. I was upset as you are.

3. Danny "I'm Grieving" Gokey.
Let me just put it out there that I love Danny's voice. And, granted, it's not his fault that the producers of AI make him seem like the holy one (the white Obama of music.) I love his voice, I do. Tonight, he sings 'What Hurts The Most' originally done by Rascal Flatts. It was ten times better than their version...not hard to do. And the judges praised it as the best of the night! (remember, this was only the 3rd performance of the night and compared to the first 2...it was the best of the night) When Rascal Flatts sings this song it always sounds a bit off. A bit out of tune, whiny, nasal sounding. Turns out...it's not just Rascal Flatts.

4. Allison "Clown Hair" Spanish last name.
She does have a great voice for a 16 year old. But her hair made her look like part clown/part troll. (take me to your leader) Allison sang 'Don't Speak' originally done by No Doubt. I have to say, I was digging it during the verse...but lost it in the chorus where she again tried to show us with every single note that she is a rocker and edgy! Don't you forget it!

5. Scott "Blind Guy" Mcintyre. (no relation to Ronnie Milsap or Stevie Wonder)
I like Scott's vibe. I think he's perfect for the Christian Gospel network. I can see him and Jim Brickman dueling it out for top Christian Christmas album. My favorite thing Scott says tonight: "I'm gonna strip things down a bit. Just me and the piano." Hmmm...sounds familiar...I want to call it...every other performance I've seen him give?

6. Matt "I wanna be Justin Timberlake including the tiny hats" Giraud.
Tonight he sang 'You Found Me' originally done by The Fray. It was a good version, nothing to write home about, nearly indistinguishable from the original. The thing that disturbed me the most was that he sang it, while playing the piano, in the middle of a crowd....like he's suddenly a superstar! I found that pretentious. All he needed was a tiny hat to complete the act.

7. Lil "Token Big Vocal Black Chick For This Season, Stay Tuned Next Season For Someone Strikingly Similar To Me" Rounds.
After much deliberation she chose 'I Surrender' by Celine Dion. I surrendered to my remote and fast forwarded through most of this. (You saw that one coming...it was too easy.) I just want to put this out there...there ain't nuttin' lil about her bum.

8. Adam "Wicked" Lambert.
I don't even know what to say. I truly don't. After every performance, I know that microphone begs to be sanitized. Between the lights and Adam's shrill screaming...by the end of the performance I felt like I might be having a seizure. I honestly, started calling 911 for help. Every performance of Adam's makes me feel like I am sitting there watching a wholesome show...and suddenly I realize it's turned into an awkward porno and they're making love to the camera and stripping off their clothes and doing pelvic thrusts towards the camera...and I'm watching it with my Grandma. I fear that Adam will be the next Prince for me. Kinda girly, not really a guy, not really a rocker...and I'll never understand it.

9. Kris "Who??? Allen.
Tonight he sang 'Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone'....and there ain't no sunshine in my life when you're not in it, Kris! I think he nailed this performance....and then ruined it with that last falsetto note. Ick. Week to week, I pretty much forget about this dude, but I sure like him when he's on stage. He's the white man's Enrique Iglesias.

In a nutshell...nobody wowed me. I'm not hooked on any of them. I love Danny's and Megan's voices the best...but I definitely don't see Megan making it far, and my love for Danny is dwindling.

I fear we have another Clay/Reuben show down coming up.... by that I mean...
Don't know/Don't Care showdown. Yet I'll tune in next week. It's a sickness.


Shawna said...

wow. I don't know how you did it, but you described everything I was thinking about this season. So funny!! I think you should win a bloggy for this entry. That's the new award for blogs, just in case you didn't know about it. It's all the rage right now. I can't wait til award season!! Good luck! It's an honor to just be nominated. Bravo.

Abby Gail said...

I love American Idol too! Let's have Idol nights at my place! WooooOO!!!

You're last comment summed it up for me this season. No one is super impressing me this year! "Oh yeah...what's his face.. I can't remember his name...yeah he sang good..." I usually can't remember them.

Red-Haired-Rocker-Chic can really Sing. Danny Gokey can really sing. Adam I'm-a-little-creepy can really sing. Chris I-forgot-your-name-and-you-should-never-have-brought-up-your-wife-if-you-want-to-be-a-teen-idol can really sing. BUT....

...would I really want to run out and pay 20 to go see them in concert? Nah!

'Lil...I LOL when you said that about her butt. All I could think last night as the camera was making orbits around her "ars" was...what wardrobe person didn't notice that it looks like they stuffed two basketballs in her dress back there? "No the camera lights won't accentuate that at all! Your good... just go out there and sing Celine badly, your fine!"

My only disagreement with your comments is Meagan. I don't think she's given up. She just REALLY can't sing! She's pretty, she has tattoos, she....that's pretty much it.

I love American Idol!

Elise said...

You are shameless. I do my best to avoid that show. Everything about it totally annoys me now. But you have cleared up one thing for me. I saw one contestant on "The Soup" (A much better way to watch AI) and was like, "Did they put a retard on the show?" Now I realize he must be the blind guy. Thanks Lisa!

Bryan said...

Lisa I think it's time to mend some fences.....Anytime you want to apologize, I'll except.

Princess Lisa said...

Thanks you Shawna! It's an honor just being quasi-nominated for a Bloggy!

Amy- It's on! Your place, AI night! And Megan can sing. You better readjust your opinion there!

Elise- I, too, enjoy The Soup's mockery of AI. But I keep watching!

Bryan- Let's pretend we're on American Idol and it's Country night...here's what I have to say (sing) to you...
♫ "I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I shoooooould!" ♫

And, any time you're ready to apologize, I'll accept.

Natalie said...

I think the funniest part of this blog is the song you just sang to Bryan!!! I don't really have an opinion about AI. I use to watch it and love it. I just never started this year so I don't know what is going on. Hallie still loves it. Although I think she is a few weeks behind.

Rae said...

Lisa, I think you are right on, none of them sing worth a darn! I don't know who sang the original versions so I'm not comparing them, I just know that none of them really make a mark. Sad, but I still watch it also.

Princess Lisa said...

Thanks Natalie! I really sang my heart out there. I hope bryan appreciated it!

Grandma- I agree. Most of them have good voices, but none of them thrill me. I guess we'll see what happens in the coming weeks...