Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The gay Jack Bauer

We all know how much I love Jack Bauer. Today, I pay homage to his gay counterpart... Chuck Norris. He has got it going ON! And he just turned 69. Below you will see him featured in a very dashing photo. I added the rainbow. Rainbow pride! And the leprechaun hat was just a festive touch!




Fun Facts about Chuck Norris:

1. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist.
2. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his right and left legs.




Obviously Chuck will never be Jack. But he does bring something to the table that Jack has yet to bring... song. Below, for your viewing pleasure is the Walker, Texas Ranger opening song. Sung by none other than Chuck Norris! Also included? A montage of Chuck Norris photos for your viewing pleasure. It's worth a minute of your life. I promise.




12 comments:

Rae said...

Your Granddad loved to watch "The Texas Rangers", he thought it was the best, or at least as good as John Wayne. He watched them both so much that I now can not stand either one!

Kirsten and Steve Bloomfield said...

Nice Lisa...Chuck Norris. Geez. Sorry I had to pass on the video as that is one minute of my life that I will never get back.

Bryan said...

What is with the Norris hating? I'll have you know that they eyes of the ranger are upon you! And you better know the difference between wrong and right!

Chuck is the ultimate Jack Bauer. Jack is great and all but he has lots of help from ctu and not to mention all that training. Plus he is always calling someone for help. You don't see chuck calling for help.

I saw Chuck in a movie once where he wasn't allowed to wear a shirt. The whole time. And let me tell you something, there was snow on the ground! It was cold. But did Chucks nipples get hard? No. Not any harder than when it was 100 degrees out. Then he goes home and works out on a slanted bench, that moves! Crazy.

Furthermore Chuck is 69. Jack Bauer has a lot of time to star in a terrible show like Texas Ranger. I'm not dissing Jack here. I'm just supporting my boy, Chuck! Long Live CHUCK!

Shawna said...

wow. I have no words.

Elise said...

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha- So friggin funny. I love, "behind his beard there is only another fist!!!! You KILL me!

Breelyn said...

I cannot believe Chuck Norris is that old!! That's insane! Go Chuck!

Natalie said...

I forgot he sung is own theme song! Ha Ha! That was great!! It was one of my Dad's favorite shows. He was so sad when it got canceled!!

Huck Morris said...

Long live Chuck! I love Chuck! I...uh,he totally scored with Christie Brinkley on the Total Gym. And that's my...uh, his real face. No plastic surgery there. Jack Bauer is a sissy, just a fictional character. I...uh, Chuck is real!

The Jack Bauer said...

Enter a husky, raspy voice consistent with chain smoking to alleviate the stress of having eight of the worst days the world will ever know," C'mon Chuck. You couldn't hang for one episode of my life. Seriously, you would puss out after 3:34 am on a quiet morning in Los Angeles. CTU is no joke. I save the planet and outer space and still find time to put up with an annoying daughter and score chicks. I am the ultimate man."

Chuck Norris said...

A calm, cool voice from years,and I mean years of experience replies," Jack, or should I call you Kiefer. You couldn't hold a candle to my life's work. Do you have t-shirts and web sites devoted to publishing your exploits. Do you have sayings named after you, i.e. Chuck-isms. Did you even read the post Princess Lisa wrote about me? Behind my beard is another fist. HA HA HA HA HA! I am the coolest man on TV and on Earth. I fought Bruce Lee and won, I mean lost. How do you erase things on here? Don't click post, Chuck. NO not that one, DOH!

Captain Jack Bauer, U.S.S. Enterprise said...

Still husky and raspy, but laughing," YOU LOST! HAR HAR HA,cough, cough. I have never lost a battle. by the end of the day, literally, I always win. Sure there is always some collateral damage. We always lose some two bit actor between seasons by killing them off, but it is never my fault. Did I mention I have a real gun and it shoots blanks? I don't need your stupid -isms. I'll always have Star Trek and the conventions between end of the free world days that I have to endure. Captain Kirk is my hero! Uh, did I just say that out loud? Oh well, the cat's out of the bag. Kinchatka Pushitaka! That's Klingon for Suck it Norris!!"

Princess Lisa said...

Bryan- you misunderstood the post. I love Chuck Norris. Get your head out of your A! Of course I love Chuck! He sings his own theme song!



As for Huck/Chuck/Jack... I am scared, so scared.