Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Kiefer Sutherland could really take some lessons from Jack Bauer. Kiefer is pathetic!

---Production of the Fox network thriller "24" has been temporarily shut down so that star and executive producer Kiefer Sutherland can undergo surgery.
Shooting is expected to resume next week with Sutherland's return. Twentieth Century Fox Television would not comment on the nature of Sutherland's ailment, referring to it only as "a medical procedure."---

I know what the "medical procedure" is... they're giving Kiefer some balls.

Jack would never let himself need surgery. And if by some stretch of the imagination he DID undergo surgery, he would only need 24 minutes of recovery time.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Love and Single Awareness Day

Ah, the month of love. Who doesn't love it? Single people, that's who! It's Single Awareness Day (aka Valentine's Day)...that extends into nearly an entire month.

Isn't that what this life is for? Aren't we all searching for that "someone"? That person who makes our heart pitter patter, who has heard our baggage and still thinks we're a good buy, the one you're willing to take on the world with. Our Soul mate.

Those in relationships have that superiority that comes from being in love. The smug feeling of Valentine's not being a big deal. After all... they have ALL year to show their love. Cupid has struck and they're no longer alone. They look at their single friends with pity, they offer words of wisdom to help you keep the faith...
"He's just around the corner!"
"I kissed a lot of frogs before I found the one!"
"By next Valentine's Day you'll be with the right one, I'm sure of it!"
"You'll know the right one when you see him."

These smug bastards are even worse when you've just broken up with someone...
"He just couldn't see how wonderful you are!"
"You're better off without him!"
"He was intimidated by you!"
"He's insecure."
"I never liked him anyway."
"The right one is just around the corner!"

They mean well, these people who have already found "the one." They do. But the mere fact that they've already found their match is reason enough to discount their words. Because love...love is like a memory eraser. Those in love have forgotten how miserable a Valentine's Day can be alone. Or they've forgotten a first date where the guy spoke non-stop about his Star Wars collection. Or the guy who professed his love after two dates and asked you to procreate with him. Perhaps they don't remember the man who wore diapers at night. Or the indecisive guy who could never decide between you and his human shaped body pillow. They usually forget about the painful breakups too. The sleepless nights, going to the store in your pajamas, the dejected feelings, wondering if coloring your hair will make you suddenly more desirable...these things also get erased by the magic of love.
No, these smug people in love...they just remember that they did find the right one. The flutter, the rush of love. They look on every past relationship with fondness because it brought them to "the one!"
When all you want to is scream, "But I want 'the one' right noooooooooow!" and stomp your foot for emphasis. (doesn't work, I tried) But, alas, we must all wait our turn to find the right match. Maybe you can find it on Match.com who will guarantee you that if you don't find your match within 6 months...they'll give you 6 MORE months free...to not find your match.

Maybe dating IS a numbers game. Maybe he truly IS right around the corner. Maybe he really DIDN'T see how wonderful you are. Maybe you WILL be with the right one by next Valentine's Day. Or...maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be alone forever. Maybe there is no right person out there for you. Maybe you're irreparably broken. Maybe your soul mate died in a terrorist attack years ago.

See? That's the single girl talking. As annoying as those "in love" smug friends are... you need them around. To remind you that you are beautiful, you have a lot to offer, he DIDN'T appreciate you, the right one WILL find you... Those smug bastards have a purpose. Listen to them. (but don't call them smug bastards to their face.)

As for me? I'll continue to listen to the words of wisdom, find hope in their uplifting words. And I will be buying myself some chocolate this Valentine's. And reminding myself that even though it's Single Awareness Day... I've already found my match. My TiVo. Maybe by next Valentine's I'll have someone to share the chocolate with, someone to watch my TiVo with. And maybe I won't.

Single or in love... Happy love month!