Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

For those of you who did not receive my Christmas Newsletter... I wanted to make sure and share a nice summary of my year, here on my blog! Enjoy...

Well, well, well. Here we are again. The year 2010 was so much like 2009, it was hard at times to tell the difference. It all started with January, just like the year before. And before I knew it, February came along, and then March. As a plucky yet uber-intelligent, gifted and talented individual, I soon recognized the pattern and I was able to confidently predict April and May. It was all downhill after that, barely even a challenge.

Just to catch you up to speed on my life, (for those of you who don't follow my Twitter feed) I'd like to share a few of the highlights from my year...

I upgraded my TiVo from a Series 2 Dual Tuner to a TiVo Premier. This was, perhaps, the most pivotal moment of my year. It took my tv watching to a whole new level. Also, it can access You Tube directly from my tv, so there is rarely a need for me to leave my bed.

Last summer I relocated from Logan, Utah to Salt Lake City, Utah. Mostly in an effort to evade the parking authority of Logan. One can only throw away so many parking tickets before they send the bounty hunters after you. I live in a lovely part of Salt Lake, near the Homeless Shelters and train tracks. I'm within spitting distance of the fire department, which was a must considering my penchant for starting fires.
I'm enjoying living in the big city and all it has to offer. One of my favorite places to visit is the downtown Walmart near my home. I've met a lot of interesting characters there. The inviting man who tried to lure me into his camper, the entrepreneurial young man who offered to sell me both tamales and drugs, the boxer who had a cart full of meat and truly believed he was Rocky... and who could forget the gentleman/lady in a yellow sundress, heels, pearls, a beard and a mullet? I've taken to printing off a current listing of the FBI's most wanted list every time I go shopping. I'm confident this will pay off.

I spent a great deal of time in 2010 trying to better myself and as such, I picked up a lot of new hobbies...
I've started teaching myself Swedish because I would hate to be at a disadvantage when I travel to accept my Nobel prizes. I couldn't afford tutoring or classes, so mostly I just do my best to look at online Swedish tabloids.
I've started chasing tornadoes. I heard it was quite the adrenaline rush. And they are right! I'm not much for nature, so I typically just watch the weather channel and look for tornadoes there. Also, in an effort to research the proper way to chase a tornado, I've been watching Twister. Helen Hunt really shines in that role.
I've become an avid coin collector. Last count, I was up to .92 cents! Ka-ching! I am literally 8 cents away from a dollar.

As the year comes to a close, I can't help but feel triumphant and fulfilled. I'll be spending the next few weeks working on my New Year's Resolutions and planning for an even brighter future in 2011.

Much love to you all, and do feel free to bask in the glow of my glory. . . Lisa

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Celebrity News!

It's been a big week in the celebrity world this week. For those of you with lives, let me fill you in. Miley was pictured with a bong, Christina Aguilera went on a coffee date and almost had a wardrobe malfunction, Ryan Reynolds and ScarJo have filed for divorce... it's been quite a week. But, let's move on to who we both care about the most.... Justin Bieber and Charlie Sheen.

Both have dodged the legal bullet this week. One has dodged any criminal charges related to a laser tag incident and the other dodged criminal charges related to a drugs/hookers and a hotel incident.
The incidents are pretty much interchangeable, so I'll clear it up for you.

Charlie Sheen won't be charged by the NYPD in connection with a bizarre incident at a New York City hotel in October that involved an adult film actress and ended with the actor being taken to a hospital by the authorities. Charlie was allegedly found in his underwear and seemingly intoxicated, but his publicist (who really earns her money) maintained that he had had "an adverse allergic reaction to some medicine."
I didn't know crack was medicine. But I know how I'm going to cure the next cold I have.

Next up... The Biebs. Bieber fevah. Despite having some of the best hair of any teenager girl around, sometimes it is just not easy being famous at his age. Apparently, last October, The Biebs was just trying to blow off some steam at a laser tag center in British Columbia. A 12 year old boy reported that the Biebs tried to punch him. But, luckily, the witnesses told authorities that it was actually Bieber who was being harassed and called names. Poor Biebs. One witness said of the incident, "The 12-year-old and his friends were targeting Bieber and shooting him over and over"
I thought that was the point of laser tag. Apparently not. Not to worry, at no point during the scuffle was Beiber or her hair harmed.

I'll let you know if we have any more developments.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Live TV

I rarely watch "live" television. I typically only watch TiVo. I find that I can more efficiently manage my laziness with recorded shows, rather than waste my precious tv watching time with commercials. (infomercials excluded, obviously.)
But when I'm at my folk's house, I have to suffer through live tv. Because they live in the dark ages. So, last night, making the most of my time (and in a successful effort to delay doing laundry), I decide to watch House Hunters.
For those of you with lives, let me catch you up to speed.... House Hunters is a show on HGTV that features people around the Nation searching guessed it...a house. We see them tell us what they're looking for and then they look at 3 properties with a realtor and in the end we get to see what they picked. Sounds great, right? Yeah, I guess you're right, it doesn't. But, remember, I'm living in squalor, I have no other option.

So the show begins by introducing us to a 29 year old woman who currently lives in the suburbs of Philadelphia and is looking for a new place in the heart of the city so that she'll have a "more fulfilling social life." I'm no life coach, but I'm guessing location isn't your problem. She was one of the most annoying women ever. She reminded me a bit of Kate Gosselin, except more entitled and with a preppier accent.

The realtor takes her to house #1, a lovely condo in the heart of the city. She likes everything about it, until she gets to the backyard. Along one of the fences is a telephone pole. She expresses her distaste and asks the realtor, "Do you think the city will move that?"
Cue my shock and laughter. I give massive props to the realtor who only said, "I don't think so, but you could submit a request to the city."

House #2 is a great layout, she's immediately a fan... "Wow, neat entryway. I like that it's the first thing you see when you walk in." Uhhhh....I guess in the suburbs they keep the entryway somewhere other than...the entryway?
The only other problem she has with this house is the kitchen area. It's a bit small, she thinks. "This kitchen is really small...I mean, I know it's just me right now, but there's no reason I won't be snatched up soon and it would be a tight fit for 2 people." Honestly, I don't think she needs to worry about that.

House #3 is a condo with downtown views, which is both good and bad for her. She likes that she can see the city skyline, but "this definitely doesn't have the nature views I was looking for." ...Just to refresh your memory, she's looking for a place in the city of Philadelphia. I'm not sure what nature views she was looking for.

I know you're on pins and needles wondering which house she chose, so I won't keep you in suspense any longer... she chose.... Condo #1! The great house with an unfortunate telephone pole. After she purchases the house, we get to see how she's styled it and made it her own. She did a lovely job and she was very happy with her decision. They did show a shot of the backyard and she really spruced it up with a lawn chair and a flower pot with dirt in it. Unfortunately, it looks as though the city denied her request as the telephone pole was still there. I don't know how she sleeps at night with that huge eyesore.