Monday, March 9, 2009

This Just In: .... I might be heartless.

If you're a regular reader of my blog, or have spent 5 minutes with me... you probably know that I'm not always filled with compassion. Okay, rarely filled with compassion. Okay, next to never.
You also probably know that I tend to laugh at things that perhaps I shouldn't. I can't help it. I find things funny. Even things that devastate others. If you don't want your opinion of me lowered any more than it already is... you might want to exit now. But, if your opinion of me couldn't get worse, or you're as evil as I am... read on.

My dear friend, Brandito, shared this story with me. He knows me too well. I laughed just at the title of the article.

Martha Stewart's Beloved Dog Killed in Freak Explosion

That was the opening to the article. And yes, that's what made me laugh. I told you I was heartless. The article goes on...

Martha Stewart is mourning the loss of her beloved Chow Chow, Ghenghis Khan, who died in a deadly propane explosion at a kennel in Pennsylvania.

Her dog was among the 17 dogs killed in a tragic propane blast that happened Friday during a propane delivery to the elite kennel.

"I am deeply saddened by this story," Stewart wrote in a post on her official blog. "My heart goes out to Karen Tracy [the kennel's co-owner], and I am hoping for a speedy recovery for those [both pets and humans] injured in this terrible event."

It's not funny. I know it's not. But allow me to point out a few things here...

1. She named her dog Ghenghis Kahn.

2. She hopes for a speedy recovery for "those" injured. She then defines "those" as "both pets and humans." Am I the only one to notice that she lists pets first? I know people consider them a part of their family... but, seriously? Wouldn't you wish for a human to recover more than a dog? If not... that scares me.

I know that animal lovers everywhere are ready to kill me. And probably donate my organs to poor dogs in need of them.


Brandon said... might want to mention her recent loss of "Paw Paw" as blogged in:

The dog's full name (brace yourself): Kublai Khan Paw Paw Chow Chow Chow.

Aaaaand, to add insult to insanity...check out this:

Perhaps you could do a show about the proper way to wrap someone who died laughing about your stupid dog.

Breelyn said...

It's no wonder we get along, I have to admit that I was giggling while I read this. The dog is adorable but seriously, Ghengis Khan? That's worse then naming your dog Kyle or Brenda.

Monkey Toe Momma said...

I thought that post was referring to the photo - he's so fluffy and cute that he looks like he "blew up". Although I don't think pets should be put before humans, I do feel badly for her lose. I cried for months when my childhood dog was tragically killed by a mountain lion.

Shatzy, my dog now, is a different story. I love my dog, I really do, she's a part of our family. She's like a small, hairy, smelly kid with bad breathe - who ticks me off more than my non-hairy kids because I trip over all the time because she insists on following me everywhere. EVERYWHERE! And she occasionally poops and vomits on my floor, and barks incessantly at every shadow or bump that she hears. How could I not love her?

Elise said...

Lisa- Your heart is as black as coal-dust in the winter time, and I believe it may be even smaller than the Grinch's.
With that said, I thought I would share a tale. The other night, my stupid, stupid excuse for a dog ran out the front door while I was looking for my precious iPod in the car outside. It was 10:30 at night. I thought, Fine-leave, I don't care. But then soon realized my phone number was on her tag, and some good-hearted person would soon be annoying me with a call telling me they had found our sweet dog. Alas, I begrudgingly started up the car to go find her.
I am telling you this because while I was driving I had a thought that made me really happy. It was: "Wouldn't it be cool if Sally darted out in front of the car and I ran her over. That way she would be dead, and I wouldn't have to feel guilty about taking her to the pound and explaining to my 4 year old where she had gone. It's much easier to say she was in outer space with Jesus."

Barbie Smith said...

I laughed so hard I peeed a little in my pants. No joke.

Bryan said...

Having recently lost a dog I must voice my disgust at your lack of compassion and feeling. How dare you joke about this. Maybe it was because my dogs name was Pete. I'm not sure but it hurt, Lisa! It hurt real bad. Not as bad as when my pet chinchilla escaped and hung himself in the cord of the blind in my bedroom window. I miss ChimChimery. RIP ChimChim!!!!

Princess Lisa said...

Brandon... the picture of the dead dog wrapped in a bow was enough to make me laugh. You bring me such joy.

I agree Bree! It was ridiculous!!! The dog is super cute...but the title is funny. And the name? Even worse.

Rinnie- I feel a little ashamed. Does that count? I do feel badly that she lost her dog. I do. But did you look at the blog where she shows you how to properly wrap up a dead dog?

Leesie- you had me worried there for a moment. Yes, my heart is black and tiny. It's genetic. Runs in cousins, so I've heard. I just about wet myself when you were talking about Sally. Just take her to the pound and tell Evan that she is in outer space with Jesus. She flew up there. Chances are, he won't remember her in ten years.

Barbie- we need to get you some diapers...and not for the babies.

Bryan- I only recently heard about Pete! And I think he dies of a broken heart. I really do. May he rest in peace. With Chim Chimery. And mine and Brandon's pet fish, Dammit. MHRIP. (May He Rest In Peace)