Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Cracker Violence

I love kids. I really do. And none more than my nieces and nephews. They're adorable...little....monsters. They all seem cute and innocent, but that's usually when they strike! At one time... My 3 year old nephew Luke told me repeatedly... "Tiss my butt, tiss my butt!" (Translated: kiss my butt, kiss my butt!!!)
Words hurt, they do. But I have to say...the physical abuse hurts more. My dear, sweet, innocent, 1 year old niece Taylor was lovingly sharing her saltine cracker with me. And by "lovingly" I mean "shoving it into my mouth, at times ramming it into my nose." She sweetly offered me her slobbery cracker over and over...and as we shared that bonding moment, she looked into my eyes, she got a maniacal glint in her eye...and attacked me with the edge of the cracker!!! I took photos to share with the police, as a pattern of abuse.


Her eyes said, "why you be frontin'? Huh, cracka??? I'll cut you, cracka, with my cracker!" I maintain that she did it on purpose.

7 comments:

Lonna said...

Lisa, I was there. I am a witness to the attack! The problem was all yours. You know that she only wants Pooka! You should have given in and let her have what she wants! :)
Ok, perhaps it was planned out and executed with style and grace. It was almost as good as when her Mother, your sister cut your neck with a knife. Like Mother, like Daughter! You should have suspected this could happen.

Tami said...

That was one sharp cracker! Ouch!

Arthur Tergart, San Clemente Warden said...

Princess Lisa?!, I was pleased to stumble across your blog reporting infant cracker violence. I am collecting data to build my case against the Arian nation, aka crackers. Prisons all over the US will be required to ban ALL crackers. Graham crackers and Cheese Nips are especially dangerous in the hands of a trained assassin. I am saddened to see that this malicious attack was conducted by an infant. It proves our point that some people are born criminals. Be wary of your neices behavior. Crackers armed with crackers, and cracker on cracker violence are on the rise.

Monkey Toe Momma said...

The wee beasties! My little Sophie gave me a fat lip and a black eye once with her bobble head! Thank goodness Brian was in CA at the time because people would surly believe that my husband was beating up on me and not that my sweet, innocent, wee baby was the real culprit.

Elise said...

You shoulda given her a diaper wedgie! Works every time.

Rae said...

Oh the pain, I am just so upset that you had to endure this attack on your sweet, innocent person (well maybe not so innocent), I do think you should be like everyone else and sue!

Natalie said...

I am shocked and appalled!! What a horrible thing to go through!! I am just glad my kids would never do such a thing! They are angels, right? :)