Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Addicted much?

I've always heard that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Perhaps this is true regardless of your 'oholic' problem. Shopaholic, alcoholic, chocoholic, workaholic... whatever you have.

The other day I saw a guy that I hope is only one bad hangover/walk of shame away from admitting he has a problem and getting help......

I saw a guy riding his bike away from a local convenience store. He was desperately trying to ride in a straight manner on the sidewalk. He wasn't succeeding. Why not???

He had a case of beer in each hand. He was trying to hold onto the handlebars...but that darn beer kept him from keeping a firm grip on the handles. But he just kept at it.

This was sad on so many levels...

1. He obviously has so many DUI's that he no longer has a license.
2. He obviously has alienated all of his family and friends with his drunken rages...they wouldn't even give him a ride to the liquor store or corner convenience store.
3. He is obviously so addicted that he's willing to ride his bike to the store to get his beer fix.
4. He's obviously too lazy and desperate to make two separate trips so that he could properly hold on to the handles and still get a case of beer at a time.
5. I think he might already have been drunk when he went on this little trip. Inebriation is the only way for someone to come up with this solid plan.

As I was watching him struggle with his two cases of beer, the sidewalk, the wind, the bike and the kid coming towards him on her bike.... exactly what I had been hoping for happened...

He toppled over. Yup. I'm not ashamed to admit it, I laughed. Quite a bit. But this guy is no quitter. No way! He had come too far to quit now... drinking beers at home before he passes out in his own vomit was too close for him to give up. This guy got up, checked his beers for damage...and then himself... and he proceeded to place the cases of beer in the basket on the front of the bike.

Yup. There was a basket on the front of the bike THE WHOLE TIME. Why did he try to ride home with a case in each hand instead of using the basket? I refer you back to #5 above.

If you're so drunk that you're willing to ride your bike to the convenience store and get two cases of beer that you can't manage to hold onto and still drive the bike...all the while forgetting there is a wire basket on the front of the bike that could hold the cases of beer so that you could ride home safely?.... You might have a problem.

9 comments:

Brandon said...

Hey, don't make fun. I like me some beer.

Monkey Toe Momma said...

Why didn't he call a cab?

Princess Lisa said...

Brandon- It was funny. I had to laugh.

Rinnie...it's Logan, Utah. I think we might possibly have one cab here. That probably doubles as pizza delivery.

Rae said...

Thank goodness he was on a bike and not in a car! Whew, that could be really really bad. If he was in a car he probably would try to hold the beer on the top of the car instead of putting it inside, some people just make life sooo hard!

Natalie said...

What is going to happen now that Utah OK'd the full-strength draft beer in kegs? Will we see this same weird behavior coming out of restaurants? Can you imagine the bicycles lined up in front of Olive garden!! Oh my!!

Breann said...

I have to admit that I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, now that is funny, to bad you didn't get video of it.

Lonna said...

What really kills me here Lisa, is that you observed all of this while driving by and relized what a great blogging opportunity it was! I see things but not with eye of detail that you do! Great story!

Elise said...

just FYI- You can get a DUI driving a bicycle. Don't ask me how I know this.

Barbie Smith said...

Maybe you could find him and set him up with Dixie. It might work.