Wednesday, February 18, 2009

This Just In: Wedgie stops thief in his....tracks.

Today, on 'This Just In' I bring you the tale of a thief who was thwarted in his attempts to steal a car...

Yvonne Morris was sitting in her office next to a window when a man walked by that she said she immediately had a bad feeling about.
"I said, 'That man really looks like no good.' "
A few minutes later, Morris heard a car alarm going off. She looked out the window to see the back window of her receptionist's car broken out, and the man who had just walked past her window was sitting in the front seat.
Morris told her receptionist to call 911 and then ran outside to confront the man. When she arrived at the car, the man stood up to confront her.

"I said, 'You might as well just sit down because the police are on their way. You're done. Caught,'" she told the man.

The man turned his back and started to walk away — then took off in a sprint, Morris said. But rather than let it go, and even though the man outweighed her by a lot, she ran after him.

The man tripped, giving Morris time to catch up, grab him and sit on him.

The man wiggled his way free and took off again. And again Morris pursued. She caught him again, this time grabbing hold of his shirt and jacket which he then wiggled out of, she said.

The third time Morris caught up with him, she said she grabbed hold of the boxer shorts hanging out from his baggy pants — and pulled up.

"I gave him a good wedgie," she said. "That was the only thing available to grab on to."

Morris then put a headlock on the man and held him until someone from a neighboring business came out to assist.

"As soon as he was in the headlock he gave it up," she said. "I appreciate the fact he didn't swing at me."

Frederick Baze, 21, was booked into the Salt Lake County Jail for investigation of vehicle burglary, possession of stolen property and warrants.

Dude. You better pray that the other guys in jail don't hear about how you got caught.

Inmates: What are you in for?
Frederick Baze: Vehicle burglary, posession of stolen property...
Inmates: How'd you get caught?
Frederick Baze: This chick took me down with a horrific wedgie!
I'm still all bruised and sore.

5 comments:

Bryan said...

I like your pun intended with the stopped in your tracks and the unspoken knowledge of the tracks that left on the underwear of said thief.

Princess Lisa said...

Thanks, Bro. I'm a big fan of pun intended!

Rae said...

What strange stories both you and Bryan find! Funny!!!

Garrett the Embarrassed said...

I rode the Comet bobsled at Park City last week. Found said track in pants. Not as funny. No pun intended. Wish I hadn't worn white pants.

Monkey Toe Momma said...

That guy is lame! He's about to get caught and go to jail for a FELONY and he let an Atomic Wedgie stop him in his tracks? Loser and a lame-o.