Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I'd like my politics (and my bagel) with a little shmeer please!

Election year is upon us! Although I have a previous post about my own political views (Jack Bauer '08) I recently came across some information* that I think my readers have a right to know when deciding who to vote for.

For all you John McCain supporters out there, the biggest thing you should be aware of is that he eats babies. I didn't believe it when Brandon first told me, but it must be true. If you go to google and type in "John McCain eats babies" it brings up tons of totally reputable search results. If you find it in google, then it is completely true! I'm sure you already know that. So, obviously, I can't vote for John McCain.

That leaves us with Obama. Yes, his middle name is Hussein and sure...that seems suspicious, but I doubt it means anything really. I also remember hearing silly people call him 'Obama BinLaden' and I would giggle because clearly people are making something out of nothing! So what if it rhymes with Osama? Lisa rhymes with doesn't mean I lean to one side! Or does it...?
Like I said, I thought this Obama BinLaden garbage was just silly. Until he announced his running mate! Biden. Biden? That name looks familiar...B...I....D....E...N....hmm, what's missing....??? Bi(nla)den! Aha! There it is...BInlaDEN. Binladen. Biden+nla= Binladen! Sure, if it was just Obama rhyming with Osama or just Biden being 3 letters away from Binladen...we might be able to blow this off, but both of them? Clearly the terrorists are trying to take over the country. And, honestly, I think they are in danger of pulling off the biggest coup de grace in history! It's the Trojan Horse and in the future they will read history books wondering how in the world we fell for it... Bravo, Obama Hussein Bi(nla)den, Bravo!
Obviously we can't vote for Obama either.

Who does this leave? Ralph Nader. Nobody can find anything bad on this guy. Who as his running mate? Ross Perot, of course! They are the safe bet! I can't vote for a baby eating fool or the terrorists!

Write in Nader/Perot for '08! Give our country a chance!

*By "Information" I mean silly rumors and accusations brought on by the shmeer tactic in politics...


Anonymous said...

I found this post by googling warts. Thanks, I think you've cured my little problem "down there".


Brandon said...

OMG! I'm so ready to vote Jack Bauer! Who's gonna be VP?

Lonna said...

Lisa Maharpermer for VP 08! That sounds great! Jack Bauer and Lisa Maharpermer. I think everyone will be on your side.
By the way...Pisa...well, I don't want to air your dirty linen in public, but you do lean to one side. Everyone knows it. We don't talk about it to you, just behind your leaning back.

Shawna said...

I'm personally writing in Dwight Schrute/ Michael Scott. Schrute/Scott '08!!!