Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I do not have time to become a bat!

So, we have a new visitor at work. Believe me, if it had been up to me, I wouldn't have given him a visitor's badge. But I'm not in charge of security...so...he's here to stay. Security is a joke in this office.

We've already had infestation problems at work. A spider that was trying to kill me (more on that later, in a separate blog entry), a beetle that was trying to kill Ali (I think she had it coming to her...she dis-invited it to her party after they had a fight, for crying out loud!) and now a bat!
The spiders have obviously called in their reinforcements. Realizing they were unable to kill me at home...they tried at work. And when that failed, they are now sending in the bats. To kill me, obviously.
I am holding up amazingly well, all things considered.

How it started:
Bruce came into my office and told me we have a bat. Well, Bruce is a trickster and also enjoys tormenting me about spiders, so I figured he was just upping his torture game to a whole new level. Now he's including bats along with spider stories! Turns out there really is a bat...

The girly reactions in our office...

Me: Are you kidding me with this Bruce? No, really, are you serious? This isn't funny. Bruce, this really isn't funny, are you kidding me? It's probably a vampire bat!
(Bruce's response to that was that it probably IS a vampire bat and that it followed me here because it recognized it's leader. Rude! I don't know if he was referring to my fang-ish teeth, my pale skin/dark hair combo or the fact that I drink blood. We may never know because I killed Bruce and drank his blood to punish him for his comment.)

Ali: Eeeeeeewwww!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Bat, bat, bat, eeeeeeee!!!! Run for your lives!

Amber: Awww, I think it's kinda cute. I want to see it's wings.

I told our warehouse guy, Ben about the bat. His response? "Hmmm."
(Apparently he wasn't impressed with our bat. I can't really blame him.)

So time goes on and someone decides to spray the bat with an air can. It wasn't me. I would never! I'm insulted that you would even ask me if it was me! Unbelievable!
The same person threw a rock at the bat...

The bat never spread it's wings and attacked. It's just still sitting in the same position that it was when the picture (above) was taken. Personally, I know it's just biding it's time...till it can attack.

I can't afford to have rabies right now. Not again.


Ali said...

I am ashamed of all of us...especially since Amber and I were screaming like school girls when the rock you threw hit the bat in the head! I can't believe it's still alive! It must have super-powers just like its leader.

Rae said...

Hey, treat that bat with respect. They eat bugs, you know. It probably just came in to have a snack on those spiders and any flies hanging around. They eat misquotes by the hundreds, so send it to Aunt Christine in Holbrook, you remember how bad the misquotes are there don't you??
Besides it probably is batman in his true shape!

Lonna said...

Lisa, that bat has been a long time resident and you have no right to try to evict him. He was hanging (pahaha) aroung there when I worked at that office. He never attacked or bothered anyone. Leave him alone. He will be there for a while and then one day he won't and you'll think he's moved on or is dead but then he'll return. Like my mom said, he's just there to eat the bugs and spiders! I don't think he'll try to suck YOUR blood. It's to pale.

Monkey Toe Momma said...

Wow! That's a big bat! That would scare the crap out of me!