Monday, March 29, 2010

License Renewal

I think it's impossible to get fired if you work at a Government agency. Honestly, what are their standards? Once you get in, you're never taken out. Until you die. Or shoot up the building and your co-workers. Whichever comes first. (sometimes it's simultaneous.)
I realized on my last birthday that my license was about to I did my duty and went to the DMV. I walked into the DMV at 7:01 and I was still 10th in line. Our new fancy shmancy DMV has an automated system that assigns customers in order of arrival to the next DMV agent that would rather be eating arsenic covered beetles than pleasantly serve you. I wait in anticipation as the numbers in front of me are called and slooooooowly helped...and I wait. Oh, they just called #9... I'm next! I get my stuff together, wait on the edge of my seat and then it's announced... "Now serving #11 at station #5...." Wait a minute... I could swear 10 comes in between 9 and 11. But, then again, what do I know? I probably skipped school that day. I wait it out. They help 12, 13 and 14 and I decided to take matters into my own hands. I approach the DMV guy, tell him my number was never called. He informed me that it calls them in sequential order, so just wait my turn. Yeah, see, that's the problem. It calls in sequential order and my sequential was skipped, jerkface! He informed me it was impossible. I asked him, just for poops and giggles, if he could maybe check if a mistake had been made? Completely annoyed, he did check. And shockingly...a mistake had been made. He didn't phrase it that way, of course. The government makes no errors. He told me I would be called next. And I was... I got a lady whom I think was about 3 seconds from slitting her wrists. At least it seemed as though I was interrupting something that important. She reviews my application and then asks me if I wear glasses. I didn't answer her immediately. I just stared at her. Because of 2 reasons...
1. I had check marked the box on the application that said I was wearing glasses.
2. I was wearing glasses when she asked me that.

FINALLY... I was handed a temporary license with the following conversation...

Apathetic DMV Lady: "Here's your temporary license, your permanent one should arrive within two to three years."

Me: "Gee, I'll really be looking forward to that."

Apathetic DMV Lady: "Have a good day."

Yeah. 2 to 3 years. I assumed she meant 2 to 3 weeks because I overheard other people being told that. So I left.
Cut to me...still receiving no license in the mail more than a month later. 6 weeks later, actually. And as much as I wanted my permanent license, I was unwilling to contact the DMV. My temporary one was good for 6 months, so...I'll just wait it out. Not to worry, I finally *did* get my permanent license in the mail. Finally.

As her final revenge...the apathetic DMV lady took the absolute worst possible picture of me. I'm considering losing my license just to go get another picture.
But I don't think I could risk it. It could be on the day one of them finally decides to end it all. Government at it's finest!


Breelyn said...

I feel your pain! Going in there s-u-c-k-e-d! Problem: I went in on Feb. 4 and have yet to get my permanent license. I think I might be one of those 2-3 year people.

Lonna said...

Look in your old mail Breelyn, that's where I found Lisa's!