My bff Brandon and I frequently have email chats that I think others should be a part of. I've previously featured one on my blog last October, about the weather...or wezzer.
Today, I have to say...if you don't laugh at this...well then, there is no hope for you. The following is our conversation via email.
Lisa: Have you finished working on the time machine?
Brandon: I have. Only when I finished I realized I'd accidentally switched the instructions and baked a cake.
Lisa: And knowing how much I wanted a cake the other day, you still didn't bake me one????????
Brandon: Not to worry, it's Grandma's cake recipe. Next time she goes to make dessert, I'll send 3 Days Ago Lisa a piece.
Lisa: Past Lisa will be so grateful.
Brandon: Yay! Well Future Brandon says You're Welcome.
Lisa: That's really big of Future Brandon, considering Present Lisa castrates Present Brandon for not having the time machine finished.
Brandon: I'll have Grandma warn Past Brandon to hide.
Lisa: I think we should make a book of all of our conversations back and forth. Obviously no plot, probably will never make sense...but it would be entertaining.
This chapter would be called "Cake Off" and the title of the book would be "Besticles."
Brandon: I think you're onto something. We'll be RICH! Rich, I tell you!
Lisa: We'll be fabulously wealthy and laugh at all the little people. And by little people, I mean midgets.
Brandon: ***A NOTE FOR ANYONE READING THIS WHEN IT HAS BEEN MADE INTO A BOOK***
We acknowledge the important place* in our society occupied by persons of small stature. We celebrate your uniqueness and defend your right to your dignity**. Nothing in this email should be taken as denigration of the vertically challenged***.
*and that place is between 0 and 3 1/2 feet from the ground. Bwahahaha!
**just like we hope you will defend our right to laugh, shorty
***unless you take "vertically challenged" to mean those poor suckers who can't get it up. THOSE people are FUNNY. Take that, limpy! And yes, that includes you, vertically challenged midgets. As people who don't discriminate against shorties, we strive to mock short limpies as ruthlessly as average and tall limpies.