Tuesday, November 18, 2008

This Just In... stories of abuse, ripped from the headlines!

Dear Readers,

This time on "This Just In" I am bringing you stories of domestic violence. Readers, can I be serious for just a moment? Abuse is never something to laugh about, and anyone in an abusive relationship should seek help immediately.
All of that being said...I couldn't help but laugh when reading the following stories...


An unemployed man faces a domestic assault charge after he allegedly attacked his girlfriend last Saturday for making him macaroni for dinner. the woman called for help after locking herself in a bathroom.

I know, I know...macaroni is hardly what anyone could call a gourmet meal. But to resort to violence over that? It seems a little uncalled for. I'm just imagining a conversation:

Man: "Hey honey, what's for dinner?"
Woman: "Macaroni." (she answers while draining the noodles)
Man: What? Macaroni?!?!?! I specifically asked for rack of lamb! You will rue the day you ever served me macaroni!!!"

(Woman runs to bathroom and calls 911)

911 Operator: "911, what is your emergency?"
Woman: "He's gone crazy! He's flinging noodles everywhere! One noodle hit my retina and it was still hot! Help!!!"
911 operator: "Ma'am, hang tight, we're sending a couple of officers as well as a K-9 unit to eat the fallen macaroni."

Also, it was unclear from the article on whether or not she also cooked him fish sticks to go with his macaroni. If I was on the jury, I'd need to know if fish sticks were involved or not. It could sway my vote!

Next up...


A man faces a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich as she was driving on the Interstate. Police said the 19-year-old man became angry and hit the woman in the arm and face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off.
The victim nearly lost control of the car because she couldn't see the road.

It's been a drive by sandwiching! Was it a hot sandwich? Did it have hard bread? Did he find out she got him light mayo? All of these things would play a factor for me if I was on the jury. For all we know, she tried to take a bite from his sandwich. In which case he had every right to fling it at her. I can just imagine being on the road and seeing a car drive out of control and thinking they were drunk driving...nope...just sandwich driving.

It's all fun and games till someone gets a sandwich in the face! Or a noodle in the eye!

I hope these couples seek counseling.


Lonna said...

Oh the horror! I have had food thrown at me while driving. It is a terrifing event. I mean what do you do? Hold on to the wheel or protect your face? You can't imagine the pain of a french fry in your hair or a pickle on your cheek. I can see a law suit there for sure. How can we stop the madness???

Bryan said...

First off, I threw that sandwich at Natalie because she suggested that that I didn't need 4 sandwiches within 20 minutes. Of course I got upset. Wouldn't you? Second, it was a cold sandwich. However it did have extra mayo. Third, it really isn't my fault. Clearly I learned this technique from Dad. Mom just admitted it.

the Cheerful Optimist said...

I guess True Love doesn't exist for these families. My Family feeds me Mexican three or four times aweek. I have not raised an enchilada or thrown a hard taco yet!!!!!! Having Mexican food that often is a true test of love but some might say tht that was 'Food abuse'.

Rae said...

It may all stem from them being a lousy cook, or not bothering to cook at all, (like me). Maybe it was boxed macaroni and cheese, or a sandwich from circle K. Yuck! I
d throw that at anyone!

Harbison Family said...

Well here in the harbison household food throwing has become a bit of tradition especially at dinnertime, we set up point lines, to see who can throw the farthest. Tyler usually wins.