Friday, May 2, 2008

Si Señor

I realize it's been a while since my last post. And apparently, the natives are getting restless.
I've had so much on my mind. I've had a lot to think about as I plan my life and where I want it to go and what I want to accomplish and who I want to be. And it's taken all of my time, energy and intelligence. And, of course, a Life Coach. He is very expensive. His name is Chester Winds. Life coach to the stars. He has helped me realize my full potential and dreams. Not cheap.
Money aside, the good news here is that I have finally decided on a life path. Yes, yes, I have. It's something I've always wanted and it's always been in the back of my mind as something I could definitely see myself doing with my life. And, I've finally decided that I am going to go after my dreams. Some people chase tornadoes. I chase dreams.
I've made a goal and I am moving forward with it. I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. You know how they say that when you follow the correct path for your life that it just "feels right"? Well, it does feel right. Nothing has ever felt more right. Chester has helped me to see the light!
So I am moving forward with my plans to become Tom Selleck's wife.

Chester and I have created a very solid plan. He has prepared me and helped me to recognize that there may be people who want to try and bring me down and tell me not to chase this dream, that it is impossible. But I will not listen to those taunts and the cynicism. Impossible? I think not. Chase the impossible tornado! ...err, dream.

My plan? It's very simple. Tom is now an avocado farmer. He owns an avocado farm in California. When I heard this, I knew it was fate. I love avocados. They are mighty tasty. So, the plan is that I will go to Tom's farm, pose as an illegal immigrant from Mexico and start working the farm. I'll be wearing my scarf to cover my head, dirt on the hands, picking avocados or pruning the avocado tree (...or whatever it is you do when you're "farming" an avocado farm) and Tom will walk by to inspect the work being done. He will then be blown away by my mad avocado farming skills and my witty charm...and voila! He will love me. He will ask me if I'd like to come inside and get out of the sun and I will say, "Si Señor." Of course I will follow him inside, I would follow him to the ends of the earth. We will be in love and we will dine on avocados for the rest of our days. Of course, the rest of his days will be much shorter than the rest of my days as he is much older than I. But, none the less, the rest of his days will be spent with me. Dining on our avocados.

I acknowledge that there are a few minor roadblocks that will be in my way. But I will move them, jump over them or blast them with dynamite. Nothing will stop me now. Minor setbacks:
1. I have no clue where Tom's avocado farm is, other than in California.
2. I don't speak Spanish. I'm hoping the one phrase, "Si Señor" will carry me through a conversation.
3. I'm not an illegal immigrant from Mexico. I actually do have a social security number. And I don't know much about Mexico, other than what I've seen on vacation.
4. I'm not exactly dark skinned. I'm going to have to do some major tanning and use a lot of bronzer.
5. I don't like to be in the hot, shiny, sweaty sun. I also don't like to get dirty. Or have anything to do with farming.
6. Tom is already married.

I see these as minor setbacks. I will chase the dream. Chester would be so proud of me.


Bryan said...

Wow, I didn't know that Chester was already out of rehab. Next time you see him tell him I said hi. I'm glad you found your "special purpose". This is exciting. I know he is married and has a daughter nearly your age, but none of that should deter you. I mean you are who you are, right? i know your partial to Chester but if you need some extra help I have a great inspirational leader. His name is Phil Livestrong. His philosophy is "Live right, live free and Livestrong"
Get it? Let me know and I'll get you his number.

Natalie said...

I am so excited you found your purpose. Tom is definitely worth it. Don't give up. It may be a hard uphill climb that may make you question your purpose on occasion. You must carry on until your purpose is realized.

Lonna said...

Well, Wow. I am your Mother and I had no idea you had hired a personal dream chaser. I agree with Natalie, that Tom is worth it. Once you climb over the wrinkles and of course his wife, it should be a great life together. "Avacodo or bust" I always say.