Sunday, January 18, 2009

Confessions are good for the soul...

I decided that since I'm not Catholic, I should start doing my own version of a confessional......

1. I dance in my room when I'm alone.

2. I'd have an affair with Jack Bauer, but I wouldn't marry him.

3. I once found a hair on a piece of cake I bought. I took another bite of the cake after that. I was sickened by my actions. I have shamed myself.

4. I am paranoid that someone will cut off my water supply. I frequently stockpile water, just in case. Sometimes I even take several glasses of water to bed. You know, in case I wake up thirsty but had a freak sleeping accident that left me paralyzed and unable to walk to the faucet. Just in case.

5. I love the smell of books, it makes me giddy. Even old books.

6. I think you can tell everything you need to know about a person from what they buy at a grocery store.

7. I immediately lose respect for someone when they wear velour track suits.

8. I hate velcro. It's an offensive substance. The noise irritates me and it's like you've given up on life so much so that you can't tie a shoe or buy a slip on? Commit to full on laziness and buy a slip on, or tie your shoes. Pick one. Too depressed to tie your shoe? Buy a slipper. Leave the velcro in the kid's section.

9. I have a crush on someone, I'm in kindergarten. At least this time it isn't identical twins.

10. I love the smell of new plastic.

11. I map out the exits when I enter a building.

12. I could become an agoraphobic with very little effort.

13. I'm afraid I may be buried alive. If I die, please don't seal the casket. Bury me with it unsealed, and a string around my finger that has a bell on the other end, attached to my headstone. That way, if I awaken buried alive, I can move my finger to sound the alarm so that they can begin to dig me out.

14. I am a big fan of 'pun intended.'

15. I lose respect for a man when he crosses his legs.

16. I am a little hypochondriachal. If I watch ER or Mystery Diagnosis, I exhibit the same symptoms for at least 2 minutes after watching the show. I'm convinced I have that disease. Until I get caught up in another show and forget all about it.

17. I have zero respect for children's television actors. How do that look at themselves in the mirror every day?

18. I love when jokes are over explained.

19. I practice texting with my left hand in case I'm ever in a car accident and upside down in a ditch and I'm pinned down and can only maneuver my left arm into my pocket and I need to text for help. It could happen.

This is confessional tag! I am tagging all of you. That's right...every single person who reads this. I am tagging you to do 19 confessions. Unless you want to do more. Or less. I did 19 because that's what came to mind while I was typing this blog. If I put my mind to it...I could have gone all day. Be grateful I didn't. I hope you've laughed, learned things about me that you never wanted to know and lost a little respect for me in the process. Tag, you're it!


Elise said...

That cracked me up....child television actors. so funny. I'll take your tag challenge.

Shawna said...

Good Night! 19???? That's a lot of confessions, that is going to take me a while. Surprisingly, I don't think I learned anything new about you!

Rae said...

Well, now I know that you did inherit some of my good sense because of your #2. Thank goodness, I really have been worried about you and him.

The Garrett Shaw University said...

Lisa, it is time to cleanse the soul. I have one confession, it involves mirrors. I can't walk past a mirror without staring into it. No its not what you think. Although tempted, I'm not looking at my butt. And yes, it is getting bigger. as a child I took the Bloody Mary dare. I said her name three times in the dark, turned on the lights, and...she didn't appear. To this day I look for her in every mirror. She has not showed up yet. Maybe she's on Mormon time.

Abby Gail said...

I too will take the tag challenge. It may take a few months for me to come up with some stuff, but I WILL DO IT!!

Breelyn said...

I'm completely with you on the books and men crossing their legs.

Bryan said...

Only 19. Moses smell the roses! You totally could have done more. 30 + is respectable.

Amber said...

I agree with your #6 & #7, regardless if they of gender it's not ok to wear velor track suits, it defeats the purpose.
What a fun post, wtg for finishing it :o)