Well, I know many people laughed at me and my belief that the spiders were actually trying to kill me... but I think I'm right.
This morning, I went into the bathroom to use the toilet. (this is as much as I'm willing to say about that because the toilet is a private area...or at least it used to be.)
I sit on the toilet, minding my own business and suddenly I see something moving up the wall to my left.... AUGH!!!! A spider. A damn, damn, dammity, damn, damn spider!!!!!
Normally I would run from the spider, but I was not in a position to run away...without some dribble. I grabbed some toilet paper and I smashed the spider! I killed that sucker. I felt good about it for about 2 seconds until I realized that the spider was merely a spider pawn.
Clearly, the first spider on my arm trying to reach my jugular to kill me wasn't destroyed when I pushed it off my arm and ran out of my room. Obviously, the spider did exactly as I thought it would. It went back to it's little fort and rounded up his friends. They made a plan. The spider they sent to the bathroom was expendable. He was willing to risk his life for this cause.
I defeated the first attempt. But, clearly, they are going to re-group and find more heinous ways to take my life.
I don't know what's going to kill me first... the brain tumor or the spiders.
1 comment:
I shall miss you. Clearly the spiders are winning. Even as I write this, I know they're closing in. I'm certain I could fend them off if only I had a roll of toilet paper. But alas, I am without.
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