Saturday, May 9, 2009

10 things to do before I die of Swine Flu


I would like to thank Elise for asking me to reexamine my life, in light of the Swine Flu. I know time is precious. I am already oinking and my skin is turning a little more pink every day. At this point, I'm not sure how much longer I have.
Elise tagged us and asked us to share our Top Ten List of things we want to do before we die... Without further adieu... (maybe just a little adieu...)

1. Star in an infomercial

2. Ride a camel

3. Master the Sitar and amass a following with my mad Sitar skillz.

4. Acquire 937,529 followers on my blog.

5. Climb Mt. Titlis in Lucerne, Switzerland. Once there, plant an American flag and declare it mine and require every tourist to twirl around and around and around singing "The Hills Are aliiiiiiiiiiiive with the sound of musiiic. Aaaaaahhhhhh"

6. Overcome my sex addiction

7. Put a lump of coal between my bum cheeks and make it into a diamond.

8. Be an extra in a movie. And steal the show. Not a porno. Not again.

9. Discover a cure for the disease Michael Jackson and I share.... no pigmentation to our skin.

10. Be the girlfriend of an "international import/export" business man...only to discover that he is a terrorist and is part of a plot to assassinate the president...Alert the authorities...I'm their only hope...I must remain his girlfriend in order to gather intel. My contact person? Jack Bauer. We must get the intel in the next 24 hours or everything as we know it is gone! We succeed, but only because Jack saves me when I'm found out. And in a moment of passion, we make sweet, sweet love at CTU headquarters before Jack must leave me so that I am not a target of the Chinese and can live in peace...heartbroken peace.

I can only hope to achieve all of my goals before the swine flu takes me. You are now tagged if you read this! Suckers!!!


Lonna said...

I'm not tagged. already did it. After reading your's however, I somehow feel my goals are lacking. I never would have imagine I could make diamonds with my firm buttocks. I may have to re-think my life goals.
Sorry about the swine flu. I loved you, never let go!!!!!!!!

Elise said...

I think I just shaht my pants! Not again!!!

Hallie said...

I posted!