One of my favorite things to do, (when I am already in the car driving from point A to point B, have nothing else to do because my cell phone is dead, I've already rocked out to all of my music via car dancing, and have already judged everyone in the cars around me...), is to appreciate a little of the local flavor via Business signs. The signs that advertise a business and maybe even a special they're having that week. Some businesses even use them to recruit new employees with 'Now Hiring' signs. Sometimes I feel it's my civic duty to call the business and let them know they've misspelled an important word on their sign. Hireing (drop the E people!) is a commonly misspelled word. Then there are the movie theaters who use those signs and butcher words so badly that I can't even guess at what the movie title might possibly be. Or maybe they ran out of the letter Z so they just used a sideways N instead. You've gotta do what you've gotta do, I guess.
The other day I saw a car dealership using their sign to advertise that they need help, and after reading the rest of the sign, I agree. They do need help. Professional help.
The sign read:
Help Wanted: Sales Arson, inquire within
I took it at face value and applied for the position. Under 'special skills' I wrote about my love for matches. I also told about how I could sell flammable products to a fireman! I'm that good at selling arson. Under 'related experience' I spoke of the two house fires my own family has had. Those kinds of things don't happen on their own, you know. Not everyone is in the market for arson. You have to make them believe that they need arson and are willing to pay for it.
The interview went well on my end, but the hiring manager looked perplexed the entire time. I haven't gotten a call back, but cross your fingers because I think this career may be right up my alley! When I do get the job, don't forget to come to me for all of your arson needs.